yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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