Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
