I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
