come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
