Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
