mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
