Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
