someone get that fucking seahorse.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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