he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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