honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Someone came in the potted fern
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
