There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
