i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
His nipple licking is glorious
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