So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
