This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
