my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
