the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
