I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
