just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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