Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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