I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
