and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
