butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
