is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
