We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
