I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
