Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
