And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
