I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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