So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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