so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
