If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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