His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
