I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you will always have a special place in my vag
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
