i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
