so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize