I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
