I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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