It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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