So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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