Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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