Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
