if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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