I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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