no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize