break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
