plz talk dirty to me
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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