I checked into jail on foursquare
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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