You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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