you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We had to coat check the pizza.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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