I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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