I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
