I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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